


Darling

by Shoshana_Rose



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mosaic Timeline (The Magicians: A Life in the Day), Singing, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27453820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoshana_Rose/pseuds/Shoshana_Rose
Summary: Inspired by the song "Darling" by Beautiful Chorus.Quentin and Eliot have been at the mosaic for over a year when Quentin's building depression finally tips over the edge.
Relationships: Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Darling

**Author's Note:**

> Hey friends, in his distress Quentin bites his hand and drags his fingernails over his scalp. If that is a trigger for you then please, please don't read. 
> 
> The song that inspired this fic is called Darling by Beautiful Chorus and can be found [here!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LbnvF_3doA)
> 
> Forever thank you to [kingquentin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingquentin/pseuds/kingquentin) for being such a wonderful and supportive friend!!!!

Quentin lays on his side and watches dust motes spiral through the sunshine, his anxiety fizzing under his skin. The past few days everything had felt dull and flat as he pushed down his emotions. Now, they’re threatening to bubble up and break through the surface. He isn’t able to move, limbs pressed down by an invisible weight. He’s paralyzed as his vision shifts out of focus, he can feel his panic rising. He can’t feel his legs, they don’t feel real anymore. Nothing does. A bead of sweat starts dripping down the side of his face, but he can’t move to wipe it away. 

He’s felt it building the past few days. It just….it’s taking such a long time. It is taking so long and he doesn’t know if they are ever going to get back. All of his anxiety which has been swirling on the surface of his mind is now tipping him over the edge. If they never got back, they were never going to finish the quest, and they were never going to get magic back. 

His hands are shaking. He is never going to see his dad again…...or Julia...or Margo or Alice or Josh or Kady or anyone. The thought ripped a hole through his chest as he gasped for breath.

Eliot. 

He has Eliot. Thank G-d he has Eliot. Eliot who has to put up with him every single fucking day and probably hates him for it. Resents that Quentin is who he’s stuck with. Who’s probably only fucking him because there is no one else around. Who’s probably disgusted by him. 

Quentin knows how gross he is right now, his hair is stringy and greasy. He hasn’t bathed in 5 days. He hasn’t had the energy to go down to the river, he’s just too tired. He’s too tired to do anything. So he lays in bed and doesn’t move. Hasn’t moved all day. Hasn’t spoken all day. The words are there, stuck behind his tongue, he just can’t push them out. Doesn’t know how to. Doesn’t want to put any of it on Eliot. He goes through enough dealing with him as it is. 

Eliot had gotten up that morning, given him a kiss on the forehead, and whispered, “Rest, I’ll take care of the design today.” Quentin had just curled up tighter on his side. He hadn’t helped yesterday either, had just sat in the chair beside the mosaic, following Eliot’s movements with his eyes. He hadn’t even been able to manage that today.

G-d he is so fucking useless. 

Silent tears start leaking out of his eyes. He can’t stop them. He doesn’t want them to slide down his face, but he has no control, he has no control over anything. 

Quentin pulls all of his limbs in as close as he possibly can. Trying to take up the least amount of space possible. Imagining folding in on himself, tighter and tighter, until he disappears. He feels his body trembling, making the rickety wooden bed shake. 

He holds in his sobs for as long as he can, can feel them trying to escape with each whimpering breath. One pushes through with a cry. Quentin stuffs a hand into his mouth, biting down hard, muffling anymore noises, but it’s too late. In moments Eliot is through the door and immediately at his side. Quentin twists onto his other side, back facing Eliot. 

“Q, Baby?” Eliot whispers as he pets his hair away from his face. Quentin flinches at the touch. Eliot cups his hand over the one stuffed in Quentin’s mouth, “Come on Darling, open up.” He strokes along Q’s jawline and coaxes his hand out of his mouth. No longer able to hold anything in, Quentin releases a cry. Eliot climbs onto their bed and gathers Q into his arms, holding him as his body is wracked with sobs. Quentin shoots up, trying to get away from Eliot’s touch, unable to handle any kindness. He drags his nails through his hair and over his scalp. He doesn’t deserve any kindness. He wraps his arms around his chest and digs his fingers into his arms, trying desperately to hold himself together. Panic taking over. Eliot settles Quentin in between his legs and presses up against his back, wrapping his arms around Quentin and holding him against his chest. 

Eliot kisses the nape of his neck and nuzzles his nose into Quentin’s hair. He starts singing softly, 

_“Darling, darling,  
You’re beautiful, you gotta keep your head up  
Never let anything bring you down,  
The sunshine will always come around”_

Quentin starts pitching forward, Eliot catches him and holds him closer to his chest.

_“Stay strong, move on  
You have such a beautiful soul  
Let your energy radiate”_

Quentin’s body is shaking against Eliot as he rocks them from side to side.

_“Mmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmmm”_

Quentin can feel the vibrations of Eliot’s voice through his back and into his chest. He lets out a sob.

_“Darling, darling,  
Remember days will get much better”_

Eliot rests his forehead against the back of Quentin’s head.

_“Darling, darling,  
You can make it through the stormy weather”_

His heart breaks as he feels Quentin’s body shake with each sob.

_“Darling, darling,  
Please don’t ever give up”_

Quentin lifts his hands to his hair, grabs two handfuls, and pulls.

_“Darling, darling,  
You gotta keep your head up”_

Eliot covers Quentin’s hands with his own and releases his hair finger by finger. He holds onto Quentin’s hands and pulls them back across his chest, his entire body coiled with tension.

_“Mmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmmm”_

Eliot continues humming into Quentin’s ear. 

_“Mmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmmm”_

Getting quieter and quieter, only stopping once Quentin’s breathing matches his own. His body releasing, head falling back onto Eliot’s shoulder. Tears still trickling out of the corners of his eyes and running down his neck, soaking his and Eliot’s shirts. Eliot kisses away as many as he can, brushing his lips along Quentin’s cheek. 

“I’m sorry,” Quentin whispers, voice rough and cracked. 

“There’s no need to apologize, Darling. I love you,” Eliot murmurs against his temple.

Quentin lets out a whimper at the pet name and turns his face into Eliot’s neck. Eliot runs his hands over Quentin’s chest, rubbing away any leftover tension. He feels Quentin’s chest hitch with every uneven breath. Kissing him on the cheek, Eliot lifts Q out of his lap, shifts him onto his side, and reaches down to where their quilt had pooled at the foot of the bed, and pulls it up to cover them. Quentin starts whimpering at the loss of contact. Eliot cuddles him from behind, “I’ve got you, Darling. I’ve got you.” Quentin turns over, flings an arm over Eliot, and tucks the other between them, playing with the hair on Eliot’s chest.

He kisses the hollow of Eliot’s throat. “Thank you,” Q whispers. Eliot pulls him closer and kisses his head in response.

“Where’s that song from?” he asks quietly, face still hidden in Eliot’s throat. 

Eliot smiles, “Margo dragged me along through her meditation phase. I wasn’t a huge fan. The self-reflection piece was difficult for me to embrace. I did like the music though and would relisten to it on occasion.” 

Quentin hums, “I like it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr as [bitchesoffillory](https://bitchesoffillory.tumblr.com/) if you want to come and hang out!!


End file.
